big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
