New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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