I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
