so explain again why im purple
no
okay pat passed out under dana's car
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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