So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize