so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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