Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
