I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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