i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
