I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
