My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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