he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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