is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Two words: nipple clamps
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