She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
