More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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