Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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