And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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