I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
