our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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