last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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