i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize