I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
