My nipple is on Facebook.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
