I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
