I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
