i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
