I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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