we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
