Porn is love you can see.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
