Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
