I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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