Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize