Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
