i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
