Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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