Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
