Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
