Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
