Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
