I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
