We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
