so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize