dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
