PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize