im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
