there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize