they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
