Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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