I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
