Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
