i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
