did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
