Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
