bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
