I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
