so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
