Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
