Fuck appropriateness.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
