I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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