Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize