If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
