White coat. Heels.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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