Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
